We met on a Thursday and you were the sweetest girl a boy could ask for. You asked me for my name and you joked about it. I wanted to marry you right then and there; I wanted to tell you how beautiful you were! And how lovely was your prose, on the page and in your voice. We spent a year together and it seems so far and close
—but of course you or I would never consider going back to that time. When you broke my heart for the first time, what was going through your head? I've revisited this a million times, and each time, I get angrier and angrier at you. But I now understand you were going through a hard time. But what to say to someone who has obviously succeeded, even your ex? I'm listening to Demi Lovato's 'Give Your Heart a Break.' How could I ever do that to someone when I know how fucking painful it feels? You know, I won't. I won't try to break peoples' hearts. I know that it's inevitable but that'll be my life mission: to make sure anyone and everyone who comes close to my aorta leaves with theirs intact. And of course, you'll say no or never. You'll forever remain the skeptic and tell me it's impossible. But I know what's possible and let me give your heart a juncture. Here is the choice I present to you: either love or hate. There is nothing else; there is nothing more simple nor more complex. On Sundays, we'd sometimes go to Catholic mass and kneel in front of the Father. Sometimes we'd bring our closeted gay friend along. Your faith—as childlike as it was—was awesome. It filled me with a sense of awe and that imbued a peace that reverberated through my nerve endings. Could there be such a thing as a soul? Did God exist? My atheist mind saw you kneeling and praying and thought, yes, He does. He exists because human beings require Him to. He exists in all and none and everywhere and nowhere—in transcendent experiences and the mundane—in the possibility of a new world and in the foregone opportunities of the old. We call all to fall in love with this world. To be attached to the meaning that subsumes our lives and to our lives that ascribe meaning to the things we see. The beauty of nature and art proscribe us to think higher, jump greater, and fly to impossible heights. We know it is possible, us religious folk and our atheist brethren. Members of humanity, rise! Rise to the new day. It is here and it will be here forever.
YOLO. You only live once, but let me revise: YOU ONLY LOVE ONCE. You are either in love, or you are not. Each of your close ones: you love them once. You love them once and then at some un-predetermined time in the future, they will pass away. And now you know this, how will you love your friends, family, and even strangers? You will only have one opportunity to appreciate them, so make the most of it. I know I've sounded preachy the past two paragraphs of this blog post, but then, why do I sound preachy to you?
YOLO.
